anticipation...

Well this is it. The RV is packed, the route has been planned (the first day of the trip anyway), and now the only thing left is to try and sleep. It shouldn't be hard. I'm laying in a king size bed in the guest room at Force Berg's house. I have a thousand pillows and maybe the best comforter I've ever had the pleasure of tangling up in. But instead I'm staring at the ceiling and following a mosquito across the room. A mosquito that seems to be buzzing awfully loud. I only get this giddy on Christmas Eve and before the first day of school. So it's obvious how much I'm looking forward to this.
What amazing things am I going to see in the next weeks? Things I've never seen or dreamed could be possible. How great is Traveling with Force Berg? How awesome will it be driving through Idaho while listening to Yonder give us a guided tour? How will it feel to get to Portland and finally see Port and Jacks again? Why does this one mosquito sound like a fleet of bombers scooting around my room? I am dizzy with anticipation.
But anticipation is too close to anxiety in my mind, and I feel both. Gas is going to cost an arm and a leg, and I've seen enough movies and talked to my dad enough to know that cops in rural Wyoming are going to treat us like shit because our license plate says Oregon and the bumper sticker says Free Tibet. What if I get us lost (which will inevitably happen) and drive up to that weird gas station run by a scary clown from House of a Thousand Corpses? What if the lugnuts are loose? What if I never fall asleep? How does Cindy get this comforter so damn soft?
Trying to put thoughts out of my head is something I may never be able to do. But I know we control our own destiny. If we mind the speed limit in those small Wyoming towns. And if we find a good hidey-hole for our unmentionables, everything will be as great as I want it to be.
And like most things that I am anticipating and feeling anxious over, until I'm actually doing it, I'll be keeping myself awake thinking about it...
I try and drift off. But first I have to stand up and kill that noisy bug. And I feel sleep fall over me like a shadow.