Well, here I am. You and I have had a casual relationship up until this point. We've had some good times. You helped me win that fantasy football league last year, you even helped me find that paper on Caucer the night before it was due, not to mention the piles of internet porn that I've gone through over the years... You're like that good roomate with the big stack of nudie mags under his bed. But things in my life are changing right now, internet, and it's about time you and I changed our relationship too. That's why I've decided to start this blog; to finally use the internet for something more constructive. I'm reaching out to the faceless millions that are stumbling around your back alleys and half-way houses, I'm putting myself out there so all the rest of the degenerates, the wierdos, the creeps know that they have a friend in me, I'm standing on my tippy toes to see over the mass of people, and I'm screaming my head off to see if anyone is paying attention. So there you have it. I'm done taking taking taking from you, internet. Finally I will be giving back.
But there are more reasons for me putting my stamp on you than simple guilt. I am at a very pivotal point in my life right now. It's like in the cartoons when Bugs comes up to the sign in the road and there are arrows pointing in all different directions... Kansas City, 21. Duluth, 342. Tokyo, 1255. There are no limits to where Bugs can go at that point. The road doesn't limit him, it is the means for reaching any one of those places. Only my sign is pointing me in every different direction my life could take me... Grad School, 12. Wife, 69. Space Shuttle Pilot, 553. Life-long pizza boy, 3. I knew that when I graduated college I would have a million and one paths to choose from, but now I'm actually at the point where it's time to do it. So internet, you're going to help me. You, and the people that hide behind your glassy monitors and reply to silly messages like this one, are going to sort out my cluttered mind and let me figure this out on my own.
That brings me to the title of this blog. One thing I can say is that if I had to choose any place in the world to be stuck in making these types of decisions, there aint no place I'd rather be... Minneapolis, Minnesota, the Minneapple. I've lived here for all but four years of my life. I was born here, grew up, became a man, and then scooted off to rural-ish Minnesota for college (a later post for sure), only to have the draw to this place pull even harder on me every day I was away. When I graduated there was really no question as to what I was going to do. I thought about staying in St. Peter with my roomate who was going back for another semester, I thought about high-tailing it to Switzerland to set up shop there... But in the end, I wound up right back where I started. Things are good here, I'm established, I know people, and as much as I hate to say it, free rent in my parents basement doesn't hurt either (only temporarily I assure you). While coming back to this place is the same, it is also very different. Instead of looking on at other people living their lives in a bustling metropolis, I am doing it. I see all the things I grew up around in a completely different light, my eyes are newly-opened, and it feels damn nice.
So that's it. I think there are a lot of people out there just like me: at a giant crossroads, not knowing what to do, but ready to have a fucking awesome time figuring it all out. I'll try and keep it interesting for you, internet. There's a lot of crap out there not worth even looking at, I just hope these few lines of text will make you smile, maybe make you retch, but for sure you'll get to know me and what's going on as I crash blindly down the path towards the clearing I hope is there.
Respectfully Yours,
maxwell gene
ps. please stop sending me emails about penis enlargement.
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